I guess that's me lately. So much change. I keep getting bigger, this little baby keeps getting bigger, and it's getting harder to deny that our family is soon going to be 4 instead of 3. Two more months - I can't wait. Does Eliot realize what's happening? Not really. Does he realize that one of the most important people in his life is about to appear? No. How special is this. That I get to be the mom to two little boys, two brothers. That I get to be part of this family, part of their lives? I know there will be some adjustment as Eliot realizes that maybe he isn't the center of the universe in our house (and oh, it's going to be a little painful), but I think it's good for him too. It's good for all of us. And how lucky is this new baby, to have an already built family. To have a big brother already there for him. I'm so nervous for them to meet each other. It just blows my mind...we made brothers. I will be there the moment they first meet and neither one will really realize what it means. I hope it's a good start. I hope they are friends for life.
I wonder sometimes if my heart really can expand to love two people the way I love Eliot. I worry about it stretching so thin that it snaps. You put these little people out into the world and it's painful in ways I couldn't imagine, but also the most joyful and wondrous thing I've ever done. Two little boys that need feeding, clothing, loving, attention....and who will be exposed to all the good and the bad the world has to offer. Wow. This motherhood thing really sneaks up on you, kind of like not being able to see the forest for the trees.
In other news I'm starting a new job next week. At 33 weeks pregnant. I figured one life change wasn't enough, I'd just start over. New house, new job, new baby. Keeping the husband though, I like that guy. I'm going to work for the government. I won't have Mondays off anymore, but I will be guaranteed to only work 40 hours a week. They're very flexible too. I think this is an awesome move for me and I can't wait to start. I just hope baby stays in for over 6 weeks so I can really get into the job...and take advantage of the great benefits.
So that's probably enough change for now, huh? Merry Christmas and all that jazz, I'll try and post some of my maternity photos up here soon.
Boom Bang Sigh
4 hours ago