Friday, September 25, 2009

Never judge a book by it's cover

Let's get that last post off of the top.

I included a ticker on the sidebar of my blog with my goodreads read book updates. I love to read. I literally (HA!) adore reading. My nightstand always has a pile of books that are either being read or next in line. One of my favorite things to do is to get lost in a book, which if you ask my husband I frequently do! When I'm reading, everything else is gone, I am in the book, and the world could fall down around me and I wouldn't notice. I've had (allegedly) entire conversations...conversations where I was told I respond "uh-huh," "nope," "yep"....that I don't even remember with my husband. If he really wanted to take advantage, he could probably get me to agree to anything. And you wonder where that 1950 Ford came from ;o) When I read a really good book I can get so into it that I may start thinking in the accent of the story, I'll even find myself coming close to talking in that accent, and sometimes my mood is even effected by whatever I'm reading. That wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't love to read so many sad books. What's a story without a little drama though?!

My earliest impression of books was when my father took me to a library in downtown St Paul. I'm not sure how old I was, but it must have been around kindergarten or first grade because I think I knew how to read. The library was spacious, enormous, and completely glorious! Marble pillars soared above my head (not exactly a huge feat, I was on the small side as a kid), marble floors shone before me. There were shelves three times as high as me, filled with more books than I could ever explore in a lifetime. A bittersweet feeling, that, knowing that there are more stories than you could ever lay your hands on, that you could never have enough time to discover what's inside each one, but at the same time feeling so safe in the fact that you will never be bored, never be done learning. And the children's section! There were stuffed animals to recline on and people telling stories, and shelves and shelves of colorful books at just my height. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't believe that something that beautiful, that special, was there specifically to house books. Those simple, unassuming, rectangular packages. There's something reverential, and rather church-like about libraries. That quiet hush, the shuffling and rustling of the pages. There's something magic in books.

Isn't it funny what everyday things may shape your life as a child?

Saturday, September 19, 2009


This post may have no purpose and will probably not make sense to many. I need to vent and since I opened up this thing to everyone, it's not going to be very specific.

I woke up angry. Pissed actually. I have been so angry lately, I've had so much of it that I don't know what to do with it. I find myself wanting to punch things, to break dishes, to slam doors, to scream. This isn't like me, I'm not an angry person. Sad I have experienced, and have come to expect occasionally....I'm not sure when I became so angry. The anger sneaks up on me, it's not something I'm used to dealing with.....but I know it's situational. I know that I have never been good at accepting, at not having control over everything. Right now I have big, huge, overwhelming THINGS that are out of my control. Things that I have to accept. Things that I can't accept.

I know I'll get there. Everything resolves itself in time, whether good or bad. Life will keep moving, time will continue to pass, and someday I'll be able to look back and wonder why I worried about everything so much, or what was there to get so upset about after all. Knowing that doesn't make it an easier right now, because time heals all wounds and I'm still feeling burnt. It's this limbo, this process, this not knowing what the outcome is, that is the hardest part. Once you're through the gauntlet all you have to do is catch your breath....right?

This is supposed to be a happy blog, a blog about good stuff, about my life. There are big parts of my life lately that I don't feel comfortable writing about here, so it's hard to update this. I'll get back to the animals and vacation and funny people later. I'm wallowing right now, and I'm just going to stew for a while.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day Blues

Haven't had much time to update lately. This year is moving so very fast, the rhodedendrons have already begun turning red and it's dark earlier than it feels like it should be. So it goes....

Chris and I went to the fair last weekend. It was incredibly busy, as always, but we were able to stuff ourselves silly regardless. I had deep fried pickles (my favorite), stuffed olives on a stick, cinnamon roasted almonds, fresh squeezed lemonade, a nutella crepe, french fries and ice cream made with local Minnesota wine. Chris had his first pronto pup! All the art and animals and people were fun to look at. I love the fair!

Work has slowed down some. I had the shortest week I've had in a while. I'm counting down to my vacation - it's coming up in less than a month. When we started planning it, October seemed so far away. It's the same as most things I guess. I'm a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Having never left the country before, I feel like I'm leaving behind a safety net. I'm so excited to see something fresh and new though!

Chris went to his first car show with his car this weekend. It was a gorgeous day, and there were a lot of really neat old cars there. Chris' car was definitely not in the worst shape, which felt really good. Some people even came by and took pictures of the work he's done. It was fun to see everyone dressed up in their 50's style outfits too!