Saturday, January 23, 2010

Halfway Home

20 weeks...writing that fills me with alternate feelings of joy and anxiety. Joy at the thought that our little guy is getting bigger and stronger and closer to coming home each day.
Now the anxiety...I'm sure all new parents must feel this, but maybe being a first time parent it hits you harder. It's definitely a walk into the unknown, even if I have glimpses of it when I visit friends or when I babysat. I sometimes feel that since I struggled to get here, I shouldn't complain. That I should always be overjoyed to be pregnant, take all the bad with the good. Okay, so looking back at my previous posts, I obviously didn't have too much trouble complaining, but now I'm having other feelings. Feelings like oh my god what have we done. Please don't judge me, it was really hard to write that, but sometimes the unknown is scary and I'm at least not afraid to talk about my fear. That doesn't mean that I'm not also excited and already completely in love with this little guy. I wait for his kicks now, he even has a schedule. I love feeling him move, I love that it's his and mine to share. What I think I mean is that this fear is more of a feeling that things are going to change and since everything is going so well now, change is scary. Even positive change. I can't even describe how elated I am to be at 20 weeks, things are a lot more real now.
Chris has been working hard on the downstairs rooms. So far we have a fully painted nursery, primed wood paneling in the family room, and stuff everywhere! I've already started getting hand-me-downs from friends, and my mom bought us our first package of diapers. We purchased our rocker/glider last weekend too. I am SO EXCITED for it, it's gorgeous and just about the most comfortable thing ever. Our carpet is waiting at the carpet shop, once Chris is done painting we'll have that installed. This weekend we're going to buy our crib and dresser. After that we get to register! Bring on the scan gun!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Weeks 18 & 19

I blame work. I was unable to post last week because I was working. I'm a little tired with the whole working, home stuff, and CREATING LIFE ya know. Sheesh.

Last week though! Not much happened but Chris painted the entire nursery!! YAY NESTING! So we have a new light, the nursery is painted, and another carpet guy is coming tomorrow for an estimate. We'll see how that goes. We're supposed to go buy either our crib, dresser, or rocker this weekend too. Things are falling into place!

We also had our big ultrasound this week - it's definitely a boy! The ultrasound went well...they did find something on his heart that can be a soft marker for downs syndrome, but the dr explained that since I had the NT scan and my risk came back 1/10,000, he thinks it's nothing. THANK GOD I HAD THAT SCAN. Or really, I'd be a mess. I'm still kind of a mess from it, but not as bad as it could be. But the baby looks great! He's moving all the time - speaking of which, the same night we had our ultrasound, Chris felt the baby kick! TWICE! It was one of the coolest moments of my life...Chris seemed impressed but not like I expected. Most guys do to me though. The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, I've been researching decorations and baby stuff and working on not freaking out about daycare. Sometimes I sing to the baby, or talk to him...I hope he likes that. Poor thing is captive.

I still look just....kind of pregnant. Like people look at my belly (I see them) but it's still not obvious to say anything. It's funny to watch...there's a skit about not asking a women if she's pregnant unless you can see the baby coming out of's probably smart.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Holy crap wow.

I felt the baby. IT'S ALIVE! Oh my god, I can't believe it. This is the coolest thing ever. I'm not feeling it super often, but if I'm still I can feel it. Hello baby! I also swear to god it kicked me when I took off my bella band yesterday. Kind of like, get me some room in here women and stop caring about your pants falling off. Sorry kid, pants win. I'm loving this.

17 weeks. It's 2010. Wow, my kid will never remember the 90's or the 00's, and they will sound as distant to him as the 60's and 70's sound to me. New year's was awesome, we went and hung out with my brother and his girlfriend, they are the awesome. We had a really great time and Chris was able to take advantage of having a sober cab, albeit a very tired sober cab. Creating life is exhausting people!

So the baby is doing well, I'm feeling pretty darn great. I've outgrown all but 2 pairs of my regular pants though, and some shirts have stopped fitting. I have not stepped on a scale in a month though. I'm scared. Sleep is weird, but it usually is for me. I have been trying to lay on my side, but sometimes wake up on my back. I got a pillow to help with it, and I have been sleeping on my side more consistently. I feel so guilty when I wake up on my back!

I'm really looking forward to our big u/s on the 12th. I can't wait to see the baby again, and find out 100% what we're having. EEEKKK!!

Today we're having a carpet guy come over for an estimate, going shopping for a crib, and going out to dinner with my family for my brother's birthday. It's going to be busy - which is ok, because yesterday even though we had the best of intentions, Chris and I literally never left the couch. It was also the awesome. I slept until 11:30 and still went to bed at 10 last night.

So things have been good, I can't believe I'm at 17 weeks already. 3 more weeks to half way!