Saturday, September 19, 2009


This post may have no purpose and will probably not make sense to many. I need to vent and since I opened up this thing to everyone, it's not going to be very specific.

I woke up angry. Pissed actually. I have been so angry lately, I've had so much of it that I don't know what to do with it. I find myself wanting to punch things, to break dishes, to slam doors, to scream. This isn't like me, I'm not an angry person. Sad I have experienced, and have come to expect occasionally....I'm not sure when I became so angry. The anger sneaks up on me, it's not something I'm used to dealing with.....but I know it's situational. I know that I have never been good at accepting, at not having control over everything. Right now I have big, huge, overwhelming THINGS that are out of my control. Things that I have to accept. Things that I can't accept.

I know I'll get there. Everything resolves itself in time, whether good or bad. Life will keep moving, time will continue to pass, and someday I'll be able to look back and wonder why I worried about everything so much, or what was there to get so upset about after all. Knowing that doesn't make it an easier right now, because time heals all wounds and I'm still feeling burnt. It's this limbo, this process, this not knowing what the outcome is, that is the hardest part. Once you're through the gauntlet all you have to do is catch your breath....right?

This is supposed to be a happy blog, a blog about good stuff, about my life. There are big parts of my life lately that I don't feel comfortable writing about here, so it's hard to update this. I'll get back to the animals and vacation and funny people later. I'm wallowing right now, and I'm just going to stew for a while.

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