Sunday, October 9, 2011

So how am I doing?

Not that anyone comes on here to check on me or anything. So if you're looking for adorable baby pictures, come back next week. We had a great month so far and have taken lots of pictures I can't wait to share. But I am. Waiting that is.

I was out running the other day and realized how much more comfortable and accepting I am of my postpartum body than I was pre-Eli. I used to hear mom's say this and think it was a bunch of lip service, that they really did care but used the pregnancy/birth/lack of time whatsoever with a kid to justify the fact that they no longer really liked their bodies. But I'm telling you - I am amazed at what my body did and amazed at what it is now. I gained 45 pounds, I've lost over 50, and there are parts of my body that are changed forever, but I really don't even care. I think I look damned good. The sad thing is I used to care so much more - what released me? Did becoming a mom change me that much? I am in awe of the fact that I gave birth to another human but why would it change that part of me? Truthfully, I don't know why but I know it's nice. It feels amazing to be content.

I am feeling a little disconnected though. I went shopping for my wardrobe that is sorely in need of updating. I've never been super into fashion or anything, and now I just want to wear clothes that flatter me and look put together, no matter what the current trends are (seriously - go away skinny jeans and leggings. I have too much hip to pull you off). When I was shopping though I was just...surprised at what the people at the checkout counters were wearing, and surprised at what was even offered in the store and how much of it I just didn't like. I suppose I'm getting older and I haven't seriously bought clothes for 2 years because of the whole pregnancy/birth recovery thing, but I didn't think I was that out of touch! I think a lot of it is because flowy tops and skinny pants just don't flatter me, I need flowy pants and skinny tops for this pear-shaped girl. When I did find a pair of pants I liked (cords) the girl at the counter asked me "aren't you glad cords are back in style? I had a friend make fun of me and say that cords were so ten years ago but they're coming back!" Christ. They were out of style? I guess I haven't worn any in a while but I love cords, they are like the perfect fall pant. So I bought them anyways, they may not be back in style (I only saw them at one store) but they look good on me.

I hope to have time to update next weekend. My brother is getting married Friday, my sister is due any day, and Eliot will be 16 months old. Exciting times people, exciting times!

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