Only and Already

How can you only be 19 days old? How can you already be 19 days old?

It's like some sort of crazy time warp, where I can't imagine life without you, but I can see how fast this is going. How you immediately started catapaulting towards toddlerhood, childhood, adulthood. How each moment I get to hold you and cuddle with you is precious, a moment in time I will never get back, a moment you may not allow me to have in a few short years.

Oh Eliot. What have we learned since you got here? You love to stare at lights. You'll quietly enjoy windows or lights with your big brown eyes for long periods of time. You'll look at your dad and I, but for shorter periods of time. We figure you're bored by us already. You smile sometimes when you're full...maybe it's gas...but it's the right muscles and your smile is beautiful. You're strong, so very very strong! You can hold your head up, turn it around and to where you want it, and you place it back down on our chests instead of letting it flop. And you have a huge head kid, so this is no small feat! You can roll from your back onto your side, which scares your mama quite regularly. You make the funniest noises. You often sound like a dolphin. Chris and I can't even reproduce some of the sounds you make. I've tried to catch them on video, but you're making them more rarely now....and unpredictably of course. You sleep a ton...and don't care where you are once you're asleep. If you're fussy, you want to be held, love to be rocked, and to have your back patted or rubbed. It's good for all of us. I love rocking you, even if there are things I'm supposed to be getting done. I love that you make me slow down and help you relax. The ultimate is if we'll let you suck on one of our fingers, we reserve that for when you're almost inconsolable...you're either not interested or don't get the pacifier thing. Which is ok with us! You're still a great eater, and we're both getting more comfortable with setting up to eat. Your dad is a pro at calming you down, and I'm the one with the food. You can definitely identify me, the milk lady. You love walks and mostly fall asleep every time we leave the house. If you're in the stroller or ergo carrier you're most likely asleep. If not asleep, you're just quietly awake...unless you're hungry....but that's an easy fix. It's been great for getting out of the house, which is awesome because I'm getting a little stir crazy. You've had a heck of a time learning how to fart and poop. You strain constantly and I feel so bad for you...you'll strain for hours and then let out one little toot. New guts must be incredibly hard to break in. You're getting better though, learning already! Sometimes I feel like I should be "doing" more with you. Infants aren't really interested in much. Cuddles and lights...it's pretty easy actually unless you get fussy. You're amazing. I spend more time watching you than tv. I love being with you, love watching you try and process things, love it that you calm down if you're hungry and I call out to you, love when you let out your little contented sigh when you're full, or curl up on my chest to fall asleep.

I love you Eliot, my little Eli, my little bug. Forgive your mama for all the sap....she's new at this.