Friday, January 31, 2014

Happy First Birthday Malcolm!

Dear Malcolm -

What did we do without you!? You are a ray of sunshine, a bit of laughter. You're funny, you're fun, and you fit so well into our family. It's been a year since you were born, a year since I met your tiny, beautiful, bruised face. A year since another little person has been out in this world carrying my heart with them everywhere they go. Looking back on the pictures and videos I took from the year, I found many from your first few months where I would record 5+ minutes of me just talking and staring at you. Those lazy maternity leave moments between just the two of us of you cooing and me trying to get you to smile. Oh how I miss my tiny newborn Malcolm, but I love the you that is right now. It's all my favorite. You are brave and brazen and ready to do whatever your brother does. You love to run away from me and look back with a big grin on your face to make sure I'm following. You do things you think or know you shouldn't and then look at me with a satisfied smirk, waiting for my reaction. I love watching you figure these things out. You like to cuddle with blankets, you like to jump on the bed (with my help), you like to scale things you shouldn't, and open cupboards and drawers and just explore! You love it when I carry you facing out and we chase Eliot through the house and collapse somewhere all together. I wish I could get that smile on camera, your wispy hair blowing up in the breeze, laughter and pure joy on your face. These are moments I wish I could bottle up forever. You can say "hi," "uh-oh," "dada," and of course, "vroom." You may have said "mama" but you weren't looking at me. Mama's can wait. Your laugh is contagious. I cannot believe how much love I have for you.You're in a needy stage right now. A stage I remember with Eliot at about the same age. A stage where I cannot even put you down to make dinner without you putting your head on the floor and crying in frustration. I hate doing it to you, but dinner must be made. You've started to throw little tantrums sometimes, head on the floor and laid full out, or throwing your head back and screaming. Tantrums are so cute at this age, they won't be in about a year so I'm enjoying it while I can. Not that I delight in your frustration, but I delight in the fact that you have an opinion and that you are developing normally. You are my second son, but you are your own person in every way. I don't know why I expected another Eliot. You are Malcolm, you are your own you, you do things like you and only you can. I love getting to know you more every day. Happy first birthday my little peanut. I look forward to many more.

Music by Devotchka, The Winner Is

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