Monday, February 25, 2013

This Time Around

I fear that Malcolm's life will be measured in differences from his big brother. I try not to sit and compare constantly, but that's how we learn, right? Recording and acknowledging the differences we see in anything. Here's how I feel about things so far:

The unexpected:
  • Malcolm sleeps better than Eliot did. Thank god. Some of it is just that I can nurse him easier and I knew what to expect, but I think we all feel more well rested this time around.
  • Nursing is just plain easier and less often with Malcolm.
  • Malcolm is a calmer easier different baby. He's already napping in his crib (sleeping is another story) for up to 2 hours. Sometimes he even cries a little bit...and then FALLS BACK ASLEEP. This never happened with Eliot until he was over a year.
  • Malcolm actually cares when his diaper is dirty. Eliot never really did, not that we let our kids sit in dirty diapers but if you miss a poop or something and can't figure out why Malcolm is fussing sometimes it's his diaper. Eliot never cared.
  • It's easier to deal with Malcolm's lack of positive feedback when you have another kid giving you plenty of feedback. I can wait for smiles more patiently when Eliot is telling me I'm his best friend. Seriously, my heart melts.
  • How I fell head over heels for Malcolm just like Eliot. How fast that Mama Bear instinct kicks in. I have stood up for this little guy hardcore already.
Things I missed:
  • The snuggles and the rocking and the closeness you can only get with a newborn. Oh, the rocking. How I missed rocking a baby.
  • That newborn smell....mmmm....
  • The little happy noises he makes while he's nursing. The little noises he makes period. They're so cute!
  • Watching a baby figure things out. Little things like using his hands. You can see everything tick behind his eyes.
  • The simplicity of his needs. Eat, sleep, change, snuggle. Easy peasy.
  • His portability and lack of mobility. So much easier to shop/go out to eat with this little guy than an almost 3 year old who wants to go run around the minute he's done eating or feels antsy.
New Things:
  • Seeing Eliot and Malcolm together really is the coolest thing in the world. My heart melts every time they interact. I love these two more than anything.
Things I didn't miss:
  • Holy crap I forgot how often these little people need their diapers changed. I'm about to google when that changes. Every 3 hours around the clock? The waste and the exhaustion of it all!
  • The whole sleeping thing. Nobody wants to be up that often. I am dealing much better this time and Malcolm is solidly in our bed at night. No way am I getting out of bed that often to feed this little dude. Because he's napping in his crib I'm hoping for an earlier and smoother transition to his own space, but I'm fine with how it's working now.
  • The grunting at night. Seriously dude, just poop already.
  • Outfit blowouts. Especially onto me in public.
  • Worrying about things like SIDS

So will we do it again? Are we a family of 4 forever? We've put that decision on hold for now. Having a newborn is both  awesome and impossible all at the same time. Not sure we want to do that again. We'd need a new car and there would be room sharing for a while at least. There would be less vacations and just a little less to go around but sometimes I feel that pull. I was one of 3 and I love it. But can I handle 3 boys? because you know it would be a boy. Can I handle never being pregnant or having a snugly cuddly newborn again? Give me a year. Lets see how 2 goes. Although this picture makes me want 100 babies. That man!

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