I started working out again.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of my psyche realigning itself.
I feel so much better. I actually started last week. Slowly. Lifting some weights, doing a 15 minute post-natal video, taking some walks. It was hard when I was feeling fairly sleep deprived. But Eliot's sleeping better and I'm learning to sleep in more. I've played tennis (albeit horribly, it's been over a year since I've held a racket), rode the spin bike, taken really long walks, and upped my weight routine. I am horrendously out of shape, it's a strange feeling. I also keep having phantom pregnancy experiences. I hesitate before picking something up off the ground, or bending in a certain way because I'm looking out for my belly. It is so great to move how I want to again!! I am bound and determined to at least fit back into my looser work pants before I get back. I can't wear maternity clothing and elastic waistbands forever. I am so excited to be biking again too! That means I can bike into work when I go back!Working out has improved my mood so much. I had a breakdown Monday because I just didn't feel good about myself anymore. It's not completely about weight, although that is some of it, but it's about endorphins and health and just simply feeling like I could walk home if I got stranded 5 miles away. I hope I'll be able to keep this up when I go back to work...it's going to be hard to balance work, a baby, and my need to work out. Thank god for the jogging stroller, but winters are going to be hard. I want to figure out a way to include Eliot in my workouts, so that I'm not shorting an area of my life...but it's often too cold to bring the baby jogging. Sigh. Shifting priorities here I suppose - even though working out ensures my sanity and patience. I'll have to find time to fit it in.
For 7 weeks postpartum I feel pretty good though. My belly is fairly gone, even though I don't think my belly button will ever be the same...it's all stretched out and weird! I've dropped all but 10 pounds from where I started, even though I want to be about 10 pounds below that. I don't diet though, just try not to overindulge, and work out as much as possible. I know it's possible that my hips have widened forever, but I really believe that if I lose this weight I'll fit back into most of my pants no problem.
I hope so anyways. There's no money for a whole new wardrobe no matter how much fun that sounds!