Changing and Growing

I guess that's me lately. So much change. I keep getting bigger, this little baby keeps getting bigger, and it's getting harder to deny that our family is soon going to be 4 instead of 3. Two more months - I can't wait. Does Eliot realize what's happening? Not really. Does he realize that one of the most important people in his life is about to appear? No. How special is this. That I get to be the mom to two little boys, two brothers. That I get to be part of this family, part of their lives? I know there will be some adjustment as Eliot realizes that maybe he isn't the center of the universe in our house (and oh, it's going to be a little painful), but I think it's good for him too. It's good for all of us. And how lucky is this new baby, to have an already built family. To have a big brother already there for him. I'm so nervous for them to meet each other. It just blows my mind...we made brothers. I will be there the moment they first meet and neither one will really realize what it means. I hope it's a good start. I hope they are friends for life.

I wonder sometimes if my heart really can expand to love two people the way I love Eliot. I worry about it stretching so thin that it snaps. You put these little people out into the world and it's painful in ways I couldn't imagine, but also the most joyful and wondrous thing I've ever done. Two little boys that need feeding, clothing, loving, attention....and who will be exposed to all the good and the bad the world has to offer. Wow. This motherhood thing really sneaks up on you, kind of like not being able to see the forest for the trees.

In other news I'm starting a new job next week. At 33 weeks pregnant. I figured one life change wasn't enough, I'd just start over. New house, new job, new baby. Keeping the husband though, I like that guy. I'm going to work for the government. I won't have Mondays off anymore, but I will be guaranteed to only work 40 hours a week. They're very flexible too. I think this is an awesome move for me and I can't wait to start. I just hope baby stays in for over 6 weeks so I can really get into the job...and take advantage of the great benefits.

So that's probably enough change for now, huh? Merry Christmas and all that jazz, I'll try and post some of my maternity photos up here soon.

Divide and Conquer

Time recently did an article on calling a truce on the Chore War. Blue Milk did a piece analyzing whether or not the Time article had a point. A particular paragraph in Blue Milks' post had me contemplating where Chris and I diverge in our share of household responsibilities:

Are men and women equally sharing the work of organising all this stuff? The work of organising often doesn’t get counted in these surveys because a lot of it goes on inside someone’s head, but it’s bloody taxing work. Walking someone through all the steps in preparing a meal, making sure you haven’t run out of laundry powder for when it’s their turn to do the laundry, writing the shopping list for them and describing where on the aisles they will find the items they need to buy.. all draining work.

I am the organizer. I pay all the bills, I keep track of our bank accounts, our cell phones, our bill disputes, our money, our insurance, our retirement funds, Eliot's Dr's appointments. I'm the researcher. If we're making a big purchase I research what we're buying. I make sure Eliot's clothes are switched over when they're getting too small, that he has all the snacks he'll need in the cupboards for the next week, that his diaper stash hasn't been depleted. I do the grocery shopping 80% of the time. According to the Time article I'm considered a part time working mom though because I'm scheduled at 32 hours a week. I do most of the grocery shopping because I have Mondays off and Monday mid-mornings are a damn nice time to grocery shop. I bring Eliot to his Dr appointments because why should we take more time off to bring him to the Dr when I can knock that off the list on a Monday. Because I work though, our Mondays are also very special. I don't want every Monday to be me just trying to get housework done and errands run and dinner on the table. So they aren't. I don't make dinner most Mondays, I usually get one thing done (like laundry folded or the dishes put away) but most Mondays the house is more of a mess than we started. And that's ok.

But Chris, he's always willing to let me leave the house when I need a break. I take more breaks than he does. He takes care of the hardware of the house (wiring electronics, anything that can be fixed with his hands), I'm better at software (navigating the TV menus, setting up the wireless modem). I don't touch the garage, I only keep my bike in there. He takes care of my bike, the cars, the yard, 80% of the cooking, putting Eliot to bed. Eliot's night time care used to fall mostly on my shoulders with breastfeeding, and I would say I'm still up with him more than Chris is, but it's better every month.

Most other things are near equal. In some ways he's neater than I am. Laundry is probably 50-50. I clean the kitchen and bathroom more often, he does the dishes more often (yes, and he does most of the cooking). He won't clean the floors unless I start cleaning them, but then he'll do half. Speaking of floors, this aggravates the living daylights out of me, we went 3 weeks before our floors got mopped this last weekend because I was experimenting with waiting for him to clean the floors and then I just got too disgusted to wait any longer.

Mostly I feel like we strike a good balance, but I would like to hand some more of the organizational items back to him. I don't think this is a men vs. women thing in our relationship, I think it's a me letting go thing. I like to know that Eliot's clothes are organized and the right sizes, that I'll be able to grab a diaper out of the drawer without thinking about it, that all the bills are paid, that we're buying the very best TV at the very best price. I trust him though, I can even sleep while he's driving sometimes, and it doesn't all need to be knocking around in my head all the time. You know what means more than an exact division of chores? The fact that Chris is concerned about it being even as well, that he'll take on something on my "list" if asked or even if the need is sensed (except for the floors, obviously), and I'll take on things from his. It more than makes up for some perfect division of labor. We each do what we're good at, and help the other out if it's too much.

The eras are ending fast people

A short recap of this week and upcoming events!

I worked, oh how I worked. I've been working 60 hour weeks for the last two weeks. It hurts. Working this much apparently makes me very irritable. That Chris is still talking to me is a miracle. Work doesn't really look like it's going to let up either. It could be a long year. Good thing I have a 2 week vacation to look forward to in October! It's my little carrot on the end of the stick.

I biked into work twice this week! Twice seems to be about my limit, although I'm pretty sure that I biked in 3 times one week last year. Biking in every day is nearly impossible with meetings and rain. When I biked in on Tuesday, I was almost mauled by some wild turkeys. True story. The turkeys were crossing the road (is there a joke in there somewhere?), all the traffic had stopped and they were headed straight towards me. Turkeys are tall and ugly, so I admit I was a little scared they would peck my knees or something (at least I think they peck, I may have seen some fangs, maybe it's more like gnashing). I did some fancy maneuvering on my bike to avoid getting my blood sucked out by the turkeys and traffic was able to move again. One of the coolest things about living in Minneapolis is all the wildlife. Seriously, I live in a fairly large city and if you go to the right spots you can see deer, fox, turkeys, skunks, raccoons, and all kinds of little furry things. I think it's pretty neat that they're somewhat able to coexist.

I started going to yoga again, and I'm going to make it a habit. When I work too much I get overwhelmed and just have to do something for myself. Usually the things that run through my head that I NEED since I'm stressed are shopping, massages, or any sort of organized work out class, like yoga, spinning, or kickboxing. All of those things feel like a treat to me, and if I'm going to work a lot I need to feel like I'm getting something out of it.

It was Chris' birthday Wednesday, happy 29th baby! I love that you finally catch up with me every year, here's to the year before 30! We went out to a local bar and grill to play what's known as BARGO. Like bingo, but with an AR, so it's like pirate bingo. But not really pirate-like at all. Although there may have been a guy there with a wooden leg, I guess I wouldn't know. Chris won a round (seriously, it's kind of a big deal, not many people win) and got $10 off dinner, which in addition to his free dinner since it was his birthday made Chris an incredibly cheap date.

So what are we doing this weekend? Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a wee bit of social anxiety, especially when I'm in a group of more than 2-4 people (and maybe even if you don't know me very well actually, I have no idea how obvious I am. I often worry I come across as rude or snotty, but I'm actually just afraid to open my mouth. Worrying about how I come across then completes the anxiety spiral). We're having a party! With 10 times more than 2-4 people! As you may imagine, this is causing me to worry incessantly about things like:

What if nobody shows up?

What if many people show up?

What if people show up and have absolutely nothing to say to each other and we sit there in a circle of awkward silence?

What will our separate groups of friends think of each other/say to each other/talk about? And related to that, why do we have so many separate groups of friends? This is totally a larger problem that I can analyze to death.

What should I wear?

Where will we sit if it rains?

Why haven't we finished the base board in the dining room (coughChriscough)?


We do this every year though, and it always turns out fine, with me only having slight panic attacks about the lack of pictures on the walls and incessantly checking whether we have enough toilet paper.

I hope to remember to post some pictures!

Last bit of information - one of my favorite restaurants in Uptown, Golooney's, closed. It's the end of an era and I am in mourning. I didn't even know they were going to close so I couldn't go for one last Veggie Verrazano sandwich. They were so freaking good. I'll miss you sandwich.

A long week

This week has been so busy! I worked a ton to get a project done by Friday only to find out on Thursday we were going to be given a two week extension. Which is awesome, because Thursday night would've really sucked. Unfortunately I'm sick now. I woke up yesterday morning feeling like someone had scraped my sinus cavity with a spoon and that feeling has not gone away yet. Your body has ways of telling you to slow down.


The worst thing about working that much is the parts of your life that fall to the wayside. Like working out, and eating right. All you can do is get through a day of work, eat, and hopefully get enough sleep. My brain was just fried at the end of each day. One night I came home and tried to hang up my coat in the bathroom. Thursday afternoon I walked into the mens bathroom. Thank god nobody was in there, because the urinal is right next to the door. Being a girl, you never think about how little privacy men have when they're going to the bathroom. Although standing up to pee would be awesome sometimes (which we can now do thanks to "Go Girl") I'm glad I at least get a wall between me and the next girl.


In cat news, Traxx continues to gain weight from his drugs. He looks really good now, although we have definitely noticed a personality change. He's a lot calmer abd he sleeps a lot more. Enough more that he's been allowed to sleep in our bed this week and he hasn't bothered us at all! In general he's just a lot more cat-like. I miss my crazy cat sometimes, but he's healthier, and that is what's important.

"The Drug Den"

I've been asked for some more controversial topics. The car company bailouts? Truthfully I don't know the answer to that question. I do know, from personal experience, that the car company's treat their employees amazingly well. Perhaps too amazingly well. When the Ford Plant announced their shut down here, Chris was able to walk away with a full ride to school for 2 years (he could've had 4 if he had so chosen), along with benefits and 70% of his salary. Those two years were up this past month and Ford sent him a check for $900 because they didn't pay out as much as if he would've taken another option. Seriously, is there any other company that you can go to, with no education, and they'll take care of you like that. It's a wonderful and terrible thing all at the same time. The medical benefits we had through Ford were amazing. I had to pay for nothing, basically ever. You can see where the waste came from. And the waste wasn't only through compensation. As always, if a safety net is inplace, people will try and abuse the system. The UAW was an amazing safety net, you could almost not be fired. So there were people who took advantage of that and would freeload on Ford. I think the same thing happens in government. I think it's sad that these jobs will most likely not be available anymore with the same benefits. It's a great thing, and with almost all companys moving to 401K's versus pensions, the burden of retirement and taking care of yourself will fall solely on the employee. Considering what the stock market did to my 401K last month, I'm not sure this is the greatest thing. But we're competing in a global economy and we have to adjust to global markets in order to be competitive, there's really not much choice. Unfortunately I think that the auto bailouts will need to come with a huge restructuring of the auto industry. The elimination of waste and more maintainable salarys and benefits in order to compete globally.

So that's all folks. From mens bathrooms to drugged up cats to my view on world economics. I'm off to enjoy the weekend.

The Dodged Bullet

There were layoffs at my work this week. Seven people out of 70 at my office are now looking for work. Have you seen the paper? First the jobs section shrunk to 2 whole sheets, and then they increased the font. It's never good when they increase the font. Oh, and the newspaper is bankrupt and has been calling me twice a week to try and get me to sign up for more newspaper. With bigger font.

It's hard though, to see your friends get laid off. It's hard because you're happy that you have a job and don't know why it's you and not them. It's hard because you know they have houses, and bills, and all the things you were worried about when they told you there were going to be layoffs that they will have to take care of and it's fricking scary to think about that. How quickly your money could run out. I found myself saying, "If there's anything I can do to help...." like somebody died and you know there's nothing you can do to make it better, but you say it. So I've been calling and emailing people I know, looking for jobs for these guys. I hope it helps.

And through all of it I can't help but be a little selfish. What does this mean for my work going ahead? Am I going to have to work that much harder to keep up? Did they lay people off to simply save on a salary and have others fill in that void and work harder? It's confusing because we are BUSY. What if I feel I already work hard enough? I think I just have to let the dust settle and give it a couple of months.

It's been a slut of a week. I'm glad it's over. The weather is starting to warm and the days are getting longer. I hope spring is the new beginning it's said to be.