Words cannot describe

Welcome to the world Eliot Michael Barnes.

Born 6/18/10 at 12:13 AM. 9lbs, 5 oz; 21 3/4 inches long.
So in love. More to come.

40 weeks, 3 days. GET. OUT.

Overdue. What an ugly word to me right now!
This is one of the hardest things I've ever done! Just to wait, to constantly think that maybe these Braxton-Hicks contractions might turn into something, to have people constantly calling and asking if the baby is here yet, to have Chris jump every time I call him to see if he needs me to pick up anything from the store. Sigh. I start every conversation on the phone with people saying "No baby." It's tough.
I have been alternating between complete misery at being pregnant for one more second even, and really trying to enjoy and appreciate this short time baby and I have left together like this. It's hard to enjoy when you're uncomfortable, exhausted, and huge. Not to mention feel like a ticking time bomb. People see me out and ask me when my due date is. I get varied responses when I answer "last friday." One guy told me I should probably just stay home. Obviously I made him nervous. But I do realize that this time is special. The time with the baby is something I'll never get back. He'll never be this close to me again, and it'll never be just the two of us. It's nice in some ways, feeling him move and talking to him. I'm trying to enjoy the Chris and me time too. This is the end of just us. We're going to have a family....in some ways I'm mourning the end of the two of us, but ecstatic to begin our life as 3 (plus two furballs). I feel like we're ready for this, but it's still a huge change.
A friend who also went overdue said it well. It feels like you've done something wrong. Like everyone is waiting for this baby and you haven't had it. It's frustrating because believe me when I say I've tried talking my body into labor! Apparently this is one of those things people have no control over. Go figure.
I'm working 6 hour days this week, and then I'm starting my leave next week whether he decides to show or not. I'm tired, it hurts to sit for 9-10 hours and I need a nap every day, also I'm kind of phasing out of the work we have - doesn't make sense for me to be too plugged in when I'm going to leave for 12 weeks.
Because I want to remember if I'm ever pregnant again (I can't even THINK about being pregnant again right now), I have made progress. 1 cm dialated, 50% effaced, and 0 station. That was on my due date. They will let me go 2 weeks overdue. There will be a baby by the end of this month!
I'm so anxious to meet this little guy! I want to see him, meet him, snuggle him. It's so hard to imagine this person who's just been a series of kicks and punches to me! I'm also strangely not that nervous about labor. I'm sure I'll change my tune but I just want it over with already. I'll take whatever comes. It means I'll have my baby here, I'll get to start getting my body back, start eating what I want again without worrying about it, and enjoy a glass of wine every now and then....or pop a couple ibuprofren when I need to! It can't be long now...nobody is pregnant forever. Right?

38 weeks

SLACKER!
I cannot believe it's been 4 weeks since I updated this blog. You'd figure there must be good reason, right? Well, not really. Let's see....a short recap:

• I finally got over being sick as I had reported from my last post
• I installed the car seat in my car
• Had said car seat inspected, we had installed it incorrectly. When being embarassed about not being able to install according to directions was told not to worry because "only an engineer could understand these directions." Embarassment worsened. Sigh.
• Have become more and more body bound by the day. Can no longer reach feet, twist, get up off the ground unassisted, or roll over in bed without waking up and performing a series of moves which include much loud grunting. According to Chris anyways.
• Had my family shower, it was wonderful. Once again marveled at the generosity of people. Still haven't written thank you notes.
• Had a surprise work shower. I truly was surprised. Again with the marveling at generosity. Again with the lack of thank you notes.
• I am uncomfortable or sore much of the time. Pregnancy has become painful (and awkward). Thankful that my family taught me to laugh at myself from an early age.
• Completely finished buying all of our "needs" for baby, and, with my moms (and Target and the Container Store) help, finished organizing the nursery and all those adorable little baby clothes.
• Bought and framed pictures for babys room, dining room, and living room.
• Gratuitous waddling. Nuff said.
• Got sick again this past Thursday. Stayed home from work Thursday and Friday (I'm sure prompting much guessing that baby is here...I wish) and spent my appointment Thursday bawling in my midwifes office. I was So. Tired. And sure that I was going to go into labor sick, which really made me doubt my abilities to try for a natural labor. Unlike the last cold, which lasted 4 weeks, I am feeling much better today. FOUR DAYS LATER! CELEBRATE!

So you see, there has been lots going on, but really, no good excuse to not be posting other than I should be writing thank you notes because I'm sure once the baby comes I won't be wanting to do that at all. I feel very ready to have this baby, and I really hope he's ready soon and I don't end up being overdue. Please come out little peanut - we are all ready to meet you!

34 weeks and I have been sick for what seems like forever

Siiiiiicccckkkkkk. I've been sick for 3 weeks now. It may be some sort of cold, but most likely it's allergies. You can't really take anything when you're pregnant. I think the nurse recommended tylenol. Just plain tylenol. Awesome. Sleeping with a cold that you can't medicate while you're pregnant is not something I'd recommend to anyone. Especially not for 3 weeks straight. Truthfully, I'm scared to even say this, but I'm feeling a little bit better today. Not great, just better. So I haven't been to yoga in 3 weeks, I haven't really done much of anything physical these last 3 weeks. I missed a La Leche League meeting I wanted to attend because I was sick. They have another one next Monday. I really hope I can make that one! We did attend an infant/child cpr class though. If my baby chokes I can confidently scream for help.
Let's see. I'm very pregnant looking now, but the camera is in the other room and pictures will have to wait. We bought a really cool bicycle poster for the baby's room. We DECIDED on a name. We did! This baby's going to have a name and I like it. Work has been really tough lately. I'm tired again, not feeling well, and kind of looking forward to just being able to focus on baby for a while. Did you know that most babies born between 34-37 weeks have no long term effects from prematurity?! That is awesome to know. I am so thankful to have made it this far.
I think that's it this week. My brain doesn't work so good lately - blame baby.

33 Weeks

For me, my entire childhood was all about getting to 18 years old, once I got to 18, I focused on turning 21. I remember when I turned 22 I had this small nagging thought of, but why? What's my next milestone? I'm starting to feel a little like I turn 22 every week. Not that I feel I've hit some important milestone and I can just stop now, but that I feel like this is going so fast (but oh so very slow at the same time). I have 47 days until I'm 40 weeks. In under 4 weeks I will be considered full term. I could have a baby next month, 25 days from now. It blows my mind.
Good news at the doctors this week. I don't think I mentioned it on here but I was measuring about 4 weeks ahead at my last appointment. This, understandably, scared me as my family has a solid history of big babies. Of enormously noggined, big headed, 9-plus pound little bundles of joy. Turns out I (he?) had a growth spurt and I'm now only measuring 1 week ahead, which is totally within normal ranges. Did you hear that? That was me sighing with relief. I know this doesn't mean he isn't going to be a big baby, but I have a little more hope that I will have a little boy safely in the 8 pound range. My disclaimer of healthy is first, no matter what he weighs, should be assumed with everything I say!
My dreams are getting weirder. Last night, while sleeping, I had a meeting with an entire team of doctors to discuss my upcoming delivery. The main doc (who wasn't my real life doctor) assured me I would have time to go to the bathroom before the actual delivery. Well then, glad we got that cleared up. I was very confused and anxious during the meeting because they kept using all these acronyms I didn't understand and there was no opportunity to ask them what they meant. After our meeting we all toasted to my babies health. Them with wine, me with my glass of water. See how responsible I am? Even in my dreams. Mama loves you little man.
I had a dream about seeing my babies face. This was the first time I'd seen it in my dreams. He had the body of a baby, but the face of a 40 year old male with nerdy glasses. I kept telling myself he would grow into it. It was more than a little creepy.
Here I am, reminding myself that next week I will be 34 weeks and that time will keep going. I've got to start mentally preparing myself for each week!

32 weeks

Wow, really. 8 weeks left...It seems like I was only just 8 weeks pregnant. The last two weeks have been crazy! My little man has been moving a ton and getting the hiccups at least twice a day. Usually at night. Do you know how hard it is to sleep with hiccups in your belly? It's taken some getting used to.
I know I promised you special 29 week pictures - well there they are on the sidebar slideshow! A friend of mine who runs her own photography business did them and she is a miracle worker. I absolutely love them and didn't know I could look like that. This is her blog: http://blog.photojessic.com/. I am amazed at her ability, and I cannot decide for the life of me which of these photos to frame!!! They are all so good!
Otherwise I keep getting bigger, and he keeps getting bigger, and all is right with the world.
I came down with either a head cold or allergies last Monday. It's been...awful. There's not much I can take and I'm feeling pretty miserable. It's definitely preparing me for waking up every two hours with a baby - I'm up every 1-3 hours to blow my nose and clear my lungs. There has been much tea-partying in our house. Tea is the best I can come up with right now to make me feel better.
But! I had my first baby shower!!! It was AMAZING. I seriously have the best mom and sister in the world. Really. They put on an amazing party, planned everything, put everything together, made games, and then cleaned up everything afterwards because I was exhausted by the party. Who knew? My friends are also awesome. They are some of the most generous people ever, and I cannot believe how much more ready I am for this baby to come. Seriously. I have 1 more shower and I'm really not sure I need anything else. Other than a sense that I will be able to keep a miniature human alive. Do they sell that at Target? Truly though, it was a great time. We do have to find space for all this stuff - our house is shrinking by the minute.
Four of my friends brought their little boys, all under the age of 1, and I hope that one day he'll be hanging out with all these guys. It was great to have them at the party, and the moms there are all such inspirations too. It's so cool that I have so many experienced moms to rely on. Hopefully they don't mind late night phone calls! The worst part of the shower? I have completely lost my voice. I am actually reduced to talking in a whisper. It sucks (for me I guess. Maybe Chris is enjoying this?). I haven't tried to speak yet this morning, but it doesn't feel any better yet. I hope I feel better soon, being pregnant is enough of an illness without all this!

Little boy, you are coming into a world of love for you. Your family, your friends (!!! Isn't he lucky, he's got friends already!!!), and your parents. We can't wait to meet you and show you all we know in this crazy world! And as my dad would say, that shouldn't take very long. Ha!

75%

Seriously, these pictures are backwards. Blogger hates me. This is 28 weeks. But check out the new hair! I LOVE it. Once again I have rocked the dogs world by standing on his bed. 27 weeks here...pretty sure we missed 26, and my week 29 pictures will be super special. Just wait!! In my defense, I had just woken up here. Maybe it's good these pictures are backwards so you could appreciate the haircut.
Baby's room! With carpet, paint, and the dresser/changing table. We are in love with his furniture. Seriously the best furniture in the house.

Here's his crib. See what I mean about the furniture? Gorgeous.

Chris and I have done a little decorating. I giggled so hard while we were doing this. It's kind of his changing table mobile. These monkeys are magnetic, so we hung a "trapeeze" bar from the ceiling. This may be my favorite thing in the room so far.

This! This is our imported poster. In Italy we went and saw the Ducati Museum, where we learned about the Cucciolo bike (cucciolo means puppy in Italian). I fell head over heels in love with the bike, and I just realized I should have put some pictures up here of the bike too. Well, it's on my facebook. It is red and it is awesome.

We've got these great built-ins on either side of the doorway in his room. I found this bear at a cute little shop in Uptown and had to have it. It also induced a fit of giggles in me. Can you see his little snaggletooth?

The family room/workout room. Finished! I love this new setup, very functional!

Other direction. Love it! This carpet is really great.

It has been an early spring this year. The leaves are starting to bud, we've seen 80 degrees already (seriously, weird), and it didn't snow once in March. The snowiest month of the year and we didn't see a flake. I feel like the rest of this winter more than made up for it. I'm fine with it. Unfortunately Chris has developed late in life allergies. He's not feeling real well right now. I am really hoping it's allergies because I haven't been sick once this pregnancy (well, other than the whole pregnancy makes me sick thing) and I plan to keep it that way.

This baby has been a-moving and a-gyrating and a-gallavanting all over the place lately! It's so fun, when I poke him, he pokes back now. Chris laid an arm across me the other day and he definitely hit back. He's very protective of his space.

The third trimester has all sorts of new problems for me. I'm much more body-bound. Uncomfortable, awkward. I don't fit in spaces I used to fit through fine. My appetite switches from monsterly ravenous, to birdlike and I'm barely able to eat anything. Sometimes I feel morning sick again. Walks have shortened themselves to about 4 blocks, not because I'm out of breath, but because I can't be that far from a bathroom. I pee all the time. I love feeling my baby though. It makes me happy to know that he's doing well in there. Questions from strangers have switched from "How are you feeling?" to "Are you ready?" No, not ready. I'll be ready when he's ready. I can see an end to this now though. Brings alternate feelings of elation and fear. I'm nervous to meet my little man, I really hope he likes us.

We ordered a jogging stroller! I am so excited. I can't wait to test this baby out. I took my bike out around the block yesterday, just to try it out. I earned a "Be careful" from Chris. Around the block people. I know, he's concerned about more than just me, but it gets frustrating...the limits on me.

I mentioned to Chris yesterday that we only have 10 weeks left while we were taking a walk. He just replied "hmmm...10 weeks, wow." We get back, and he's down in the babies room putting up closet doors and mounting the babycam. Cracked me up, he totally nests every time I mention how much time I have left. I love that man.

And that's all for now folks. Happy Easter and I'm out to enjoy the weather.